Weaving the radically loving future we want through mothering

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we are living in deeply chaotic, troubled times.

But you, mama, hold a vision. It’s so big and impossible that perhaps you haven’t spoken it out loud, for fear of showing it to the disillusioned mob and it melting like a fragile flake of October snow hitting the too-warm pavement. For fear of being called foolish, naive. It’s a vision of a soft, tender, nurturing world where all beings, especially the most vulnerable and in need of protection, can thrive.

And the gap between where we are and where you long to be is so, so big and painful to hold.

And even more painful than the gap, is the reality of all the ways in which you, a fiercely loving and caring mother, fail to show up as the embodied leader of love that you long to be for your family. You yell. You shame. You leverage your power over your children when your needs are unmet, which is…often. You want there to be another way, but it seems totally out of reach.

You’ve likely been doing the big work for years, healing your own childhood wounding, questioning the dominant paradigm of parenting with coercion and control, you’ve sought out parenting resources that promise your problems away if you can “Just do these 5 Simple Things” that are definitely not at all simple (or effective)!

We are in unprecedented times. It’s the increasingly crushing pressure of capitalism. It’s the non-existent village. It’s the ache in your heart for deep, resonant sisterhood. It’s your children experiencing the lack of embededdness within a multigenerational web of loving aunties and elders that means they need so, so much from you at all times. You (WE) are not ok.

If it’s going to change, it will have to be us to do it. And it starts in our homes. At the breakfast table, at 2am when we’re deliriously exhausted and the baby wants to nurse, on the mudroom floor as we hurriedly pull socks onto small feet, feeling like we may explode in white hot rage for having to do One. More. Fucking. Thing.

There is a way forward. And unlike all the advice you’ve been given, it doesn’t depend on you trying harder, being fully healed, constant self-improvement, pushing yourself, or denying your own needs.

Let’s walk together.

The work I’m doing could be a fit for you if…

-You want to actively engage with the work of living in loving collaboration and partnership with your children, even if that seems impossible right now, and even if you have very little capacity.

-You feel frustrated, sad and discouraged that your children don’t seem to share many of your most deeply held values like kindness, gentleness, generosity and cooperation.

-You struggle to understand your children’s behavior and are frequently triggered by their large emotional or violent expressions, even if you’ve done a lot of research and work on trying to understand the behavior and your reactions to it.

-You frequently feel alone in holding all of the responsibilities you have, and long for more support and acknowledgment from your children and partner.

-You frequently feel overwhelmed by all you are holding. You feel as though you’re drowning and barely accomplishing the bare minimum every day.

-You’ve tried implementing agreements and systems for things like screens and chores, but they require constant reminders and nagging, and often fall apart within weeks or even days of starting.

-You’ve engaged with resources and received “expert” advice on conscious or gentle parenting but the advice a) doesn’t deliver the promised results or b) seems way outside you capacity to do with consistency.

-You and your partner/co-parent are frequently at odds on how to handle things that arise with your children. You often feel resentful that they won’t engage with the parenting resources you offer them.

-You are parenting a child who could be considered neurodivergent, highly sensitive or HSP, or who experienced childhood trauma, and you feel a lot of pain at how little they are understood, even by you at times. You’d like to have better tools for supporting them (and yourself!), and a lot of the strategies you’ve tried have had very limited results.

-You long to co-create change with a group of mothers who share your parenting values and your vision for the world.

we’ll probably love working together if…

-You feel a heart and soul level resonance with the idea that parenting with coercion and control is antithetical to the thriving of children and society (even if you don’t always know what to do instead).

-You see the limits of the nuclear family in meeting the needs of both children and parents. Maybe you long to live with extended family or in a multigenerational intentional community.

-You often feel lonely when in the company of other parents who embrace dominant paradigm parenting, and long to find sisterhood with other mothers walking the path of liberated mothering.

-You’ve engaged with gentle/conscious/NVC parenting resources like books, podcasts, workshops, coaching, online parenting communities, etc. You care deeply about healing intergenerational trauma and toxic cycles within your home.

-You think your soul work may be related to the liberation of children, supporting parents, or the healing of the planet in some way.

-You long to move beyond the constructs of good/bad and right/wrong, even if you still live in that binary much of the time.

Not a slam dunk? we may still love working together if…

-You don’t see yourself in some of the above, but you feel some strong resonance and an intuitive pull to learn more, and you have willingness to be lovingly challenged on some of your beliefs about mothering and how people and societies learn, grown and change.

Hi friend. I’m Janne. It’s pronounced “Yah-nah”

I’m a mother. I’m a vision holder of a radically loving and vibrant world where all beings thrive. I’m a believer in the potential for unknown beauty and healing to emerge from the dark and distressing times we are living through on planet earth right now. And my work within this great turning is to share a new way of weaving the tapestry of childhood, that affirms, nurtures and cares for all life.

I grew up in golden oak-lands or northern California, land of soap root and acorns, manzanita, dry summers, rattlesnake grass and redwood groves. It is and will always be my soul’s home. I passed as a muggle for much of my life, living in big cities, unconsciously recreating the patriarchy within myself and my relationships, searching for deeper purpose and meaning and not finding it in the places I was taught to look. At the age of 35 I decided I was bored with project Janne and I listened to the meekest, softest whisper that told me my life’s purpose would blossom through the act of mothering, which had never been my plan.

From his first breaths earthside, my son showed me in full, unfurnished expressions how misaligned we are with the nurturing, life-affirming technologies within which human beings have evolved and thrived. His inability to tolerate the toxicity of patriarchal structures like age-based hierarchy, schedules and the brittle nuclear family, has called me to begin the work of mending the broken threads of ancient matriarchal cultures which so lovingly cared for life. The experience of mothering in these tumultuous times, and the teachings of Marshall Rosenberg have been catalysts for my deep middle life awakening and reconnection to myself and spirit. My work continues to be informed and supported by those who share Marshall’s radical peace work, most especially the three Kashtan sisters Miki, Arnina and Inbal (who passed away in 2014). Nonviolent Communication has been the most useful and energizing tool for my personal liberation work and the transformation of the culture within my home. I’m humbled and grateful for the opportunity to share it with other mothers and families.

In 2021 my family and I moved to a small town on the Salish coast of western Washington state. I’m fortunate to live in community, surrounded by beings I love, be they human, animal, vegetal, mineral. With great humility, I’m deepening my relationship with this land that is not my home, but which has and continues to embrace and bless me in a thousand ways.